September 28, 2004
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-- Disgruntled Advertiser - Part 2
-- My New Favorite Book on Yellow Pages
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- We Need to Talk
-- Oh Yes, That's Much Better
-- Fear Factor for Kids
-- Substantial Penalty for Past Due Accounts
-- Maxi Cooper
-- Calvin Klein for the Straight Guy
-- Poppin' Wheelies
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

If you have trouble seeing the photos in this newsletter, simply go to this website.

http://ypcommando.com/articles/9_24_04.html

You can read the newsletter as a webpage.

Disgruntled Advertiser - Part 2 back to top Forward to a Friend
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A few weeks back, I published a real letter from a disgruntled former Yellow Pages advertiser.

Rather than do any real work myself, I asked my subscribers for their thoughts. Man, if I get any lazier, I'll qualify for a position in senior management. :-)

I never anticipated I'd receive such a wide variety of responses.

This week, I'll give you the surprising highlights of the responses to the second through fourth objections.

If you still wanna put in your two cents, send your comments to Dick@YPcommando.com.

I received responses several folks including:

• Lee Rubner, BellSouth
• Kristin Salerno, SBC
• Steve Clark, TransWestern Publishing
• Rich Hargrave, Ambassador Publishing
• Terry Pacelli, Haines Directories
• James Thessen, National Direct Media Services
• Alan Saltz, Author of "Legal Theft 2.0 - Using Yellow Pages Advertising to Ethically Steal Business from Your Competition"
• Beverly S. Sundstrom, international Yellow Pages advertising, inc.
• Drew Cameron, Supernova Selling Systems
• Adams Hudson, Hudson Ink (marketing consultant to the HVAC trade)
• Andy Summerlin, DataNational
• Stephanie Crammond, Deep Data
• Randy S. Mitchell, Yellow Page Group
• Eric Groves, Constant Contact

You won't believe their responses.

My New Favorite Book on Yellow Pages back to top Forward to a Friend
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I've been bragging about Kerry Randall's book on Yellow Pages Advertising for Lawyers as being simply the best book I've read for Yellow Pages advertisers. The problem was that it was targeted toward lawyers and didn't address other business types.

Wisely, Kerry updated the wonderful tips and marketing plans for any business that advertises in the Yellow Pages.

He sent me a copy for review, and I liked it so much that I bought the exclusive rights to market the electronic version.

His book is loaded with very specific examples and exercises that are easy to follow. I can honestly say that every advertiser (even a guy with a little in-column ad) will benefit by reading this book.

I've seen, and even promoted other very good YP books that sell for $50 - $150, but nothing cuts to the chase like Winning the Yellow Pages War. Kerry focuses on the critical issues that will have the biggest impact. He uses solid examples and shows examples of ads created using his techniques.

I'm selling copies of Winning the Yellow Pages War for only $15.00. That price is far too little for the value the book contains.

However, my mission as the Yellow Pages Commando has always been to help more people be successful with their Yellow Pages advertising rather than to get rich off a few that can afford a higher price.

Buy this eBook now for only $15.

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser back to top Forward to a Friend
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Buford was being audited by the IRS.

He figured that even if his son, brother in-law and his half-uncle were the same person, he should still be able to claim three dependents.

The poor IRS auditor was so flustered that he gave Buford the opportunity to plead his case with a single statement.

If the statement was true, Buford would be fined $10,000. If the statement was false, 'ol Buford would rot in prison for 10 years.

What did Buford say that got the auditor to dismiss the charges altogether?

See the Answer & Our Celebrity Winner

We Need to Talk back to top Forward to a Friend
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Many of the signs and billboards in the area were no match for Hurricane Charley. However, one billboard resisted the 100-mile per hour winds of the storm. While the billboard still stands, the advertisement that was there when Hurricane Charley hit was pealed back to reveal an earlier message. When the sun rose the next morning on Sand Lake Road in Orlando the words on the billboard clearly read, "We need to talk. God."

This was sent in by my friend Michelle Nichols who is a sales trainer extraordinaire. She's a writer for BusinessWeek Online and walks the talk.

Check out Michelle's cool website, SavvySelling.com.

Oh Yes, That's Much Better back to top Forward to a Friend
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I'm so glad that the state invested the time and money to rename all of the freeway exits.

++++++++++++++++


The Kelsey Group has lined up an amazing array of speakers for their upcoming conference; Interactive Local Media.

Basically, everyone who is anyone in the exploding fields of local search and internet marketing will be there.

I honestly can't think of an industry that has more opportunity for changing the way buyers and sellers interact than local internet search.

I was razzing John Kelsey about hosting a conference in Jersey City in November, and he rationalized that being 25 minutes away from Manhattan attracts a much different audience than the conferences in places with mild climates such as Orlando and Boca Raton. I think the real reason is that it's close to his office.

Since I'm coming from San Diego, I'll pack an insulated Hawaiian shirt.

See who's revolutionizing local marketing.

Fear Factor for Kids back to top Forward to a Friend
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This is one of those new reality show inspired playgrounds.

In my day, we only had to worry about the upperclassmen.

Enjoy "The Apprentice?" - read about the Donald's greatest marketing move.

Substantial Penalty for Past Due Accounts back to top Forward to a Friend
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I imagine that there are a lot of painters out there who have wanted to do this a time or two.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Alan Saltz, author of Legal Theft 2.0 offered a very good tip that would improve almost any YP ad.

Got a good tip for YP advertisers? Send it my way, and I'll make you rich and famous.

The "post headline paragraph" WILL make ads more successful.

Maxi Cooper back to top Forward to a Friend
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I think the Mini Cooper is the coolest car going, and now it's available in the economical family size.

Martha Stewart should have listened to my advice.

Calvin Klein for the Straight Guy back to top Forward to a Friend
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On second thought, maybe $60 is too much for a bottle of aftershave.

Should a business owner put his/her photo in a YP ad?

Poppin' Wheelies back to top Forward to a Friend
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I was popping wheelies in the driveway when I had a slight mishap.

Has anyone seen Fluffy?

This CMR chewed my butt out for something I wrote.

This Week's Brainteaser back to top Forward to a Friend
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Here are a few fun stumpers.

1. Removing an appendix is called an appendectomy, removing tonsils is called a tonsillectomy. What is it called when they remove a growth from your head?
   
   
2. What are three things you often eat that you can never have for breakfast?
   
   
3. If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather, what does he raise in wet weather?
   
   
4. Which is greater: six dozen dozen or half a dozen dozen?
   
   
5. Why do Chinese men eat more rice than Japanese men?

Email your answer to puzzler@dicklarkin.com

The winner will receive an amazing array of WorldPages.com goodies.

To improve your random chances of winning, please include your name, company name and mailing address.

I draw the winner the day before I send the following newsletter, so enter early and often.


Quote of the Week back to top Forward to a Friend
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"Stress occurs when you know the right thing to do but you do the wrong thing anyway."

"The truth hurts. That's how you know it's the truth. If somebody is telling you something that makes you feel nicey-nice, it probably ain't the truth."
- Larry Winget

Larry Winget is a "tell it like it is" guy who is as entertaining as he is thought provoking. His new book, "Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get a Life," is #1 on the New York Times Best Seller List.

Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get Your Own Life.

September 2, 2004
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-- Disgruntled Advertiser - Part 1
-- My Favorite Book on Yellow Pages
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- What I Learned in College
-- The Ultimate "Dummies" Book
-- Homemade Guitar
-- All the Cool Guys are Named Dick
-- What to Do if Monty Asks You
-- Nigerian Restaurant
-- Ironman Competition
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

If you have trouble seeing the photos in this newsletter, simply go to this website.

http://ypnews.blogspot.com

You can read the newsletter as a webpage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm gearing up to begin publishing "This Week in Pictures" an e-zine with funny photos, brainteasers and quotes. It's kind of like the YPcommando without the YP. To get on the list, send an email to photos@ypcommando.com

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And now, on with the show . . .

Disgruntled Advertiser - Part 1 back to top Forward to a Friend
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few weeks back, I published a real letter from a disgruntled former Yellow Pages advertiser. Imagine that. He posed several objections that are common to many business people.

I asked the subscribers of my Yellow Pages Commando newsletter to send in their responses to his objections.

The results were overwhelming. I received over 23 pages of responses! This week, I’ll share with you highlights of the responses to the first objection. Over the coming weeks, I will go through all of the objections.

There’s still time to respond. Send your comments to Dick@YPcommando.com.

September 2, 2004
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-- Disgruntled Advertiser - Part 1
-- My Favorite Book on Yellow Pages
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- What I Learned in College
-- The Ultimate "Dummies" Book
-- Homemade Guitar
-- All the Cool Guys are Named Dick
-- What to Do if Monty Asks You
-- Nigerian Restaurant
-- Ironman Competition
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

Dear Dick,

If you have trouble seeing the photos in this newsletter, simply go to this website.

http://ypnews.blogspot.com

You can read the newsletter as a webpage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm gearing up to begin publishing "This Week in Pictures" an e-zine with funny photos, brainteasers and quotes. It's kind of like the YPcommando without the YP. To get on the list, send an email to photos@ypcommando.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, on with the show . . .

Disgruntled Advertiser - Part 1 back to top Forward to a Friend
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few weeks back, I published a real letter from a disgruntled former Yellow Pages advertiser. Imagine that. He posed several objections that are common to many business people.

I asked the subscribers of my Yellow Pages Commando newsletter to send in their responses to his objections.

The results were overwhelming. I received over 23 pages of responses! This week, I’ll share with you highlights of the responses to the first objection. Over the coming weeks, I will go through all of the objections.

There’s still time to respond. Send your comments to Dick@YPcommando.com.